Friday, July 20, 2012

The Amniotic Sea


And from the pain of an empty womb
a dream was fashioned into an empty tomb
Wrought with isolation, it hits me in the heart
and decays my body into a crown of stars.

Times rivers thirsty from remembering
Is it true? Or do I keep forgetting?
Bleed forth your frothy foam
If I close my eyes, I will not die alone.

These misty airs that corrupt my breath
they bore a hole until there is nothing left
Swallow me into your dreams
and carry me home to the amniotic sea.

Backward.

Floating, where my dreams last footsteps fell
Never to be realized, I embrace this hell
We proceed and lose ourselves in time
as I swim from your dreams into mine.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Be Happy...


This morning I awoke starving for inner peace and I know that through music I can achieve this. Whenever I have been feeling melancholy ( which is one of my favorite ways to feel) I just listen to this song by one of my favorite artists Peter Christopherson. Peter was an amazing musician who touched the lives of countless people with his deeply spiritual music. He was a founding member of Throbbing Gristle, possibly the first "industrial" band in the late 70's. He founded Coil, the first openly "gay" band, quite possibly the best band of all time and those works are a massive influence on me lately. Peter died a few years ago and I can say I am truly honored to have met him in 1997 at an Aphex Twin show in NYC. A deeply spiritual and inspiring person, I am happy to be able to reference his body of work and allow it to touch me in ways that brighten my day.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

New Outlook, New Life

Hello

This is my first of (hopefully!) many ramblings regarding most of my passions and a vehicle for projecting these thoughts and views into a palpable framework. I suppose an introduction is in order. My name is Kristopher Bernard. I am an experimental electronic musician, poet, actor, scientist, martial artist, and a student of the multiverse. I am 36 years old and am currently residing in chrysalis form in Saugerties, NY, the place where I grew up, although it is not the place I was born. That would be Salem, Massachusetts, where the details of my past are too extensive to cover here (although that will most likely be addressed in future posts!)

Over the past year I have seen my life collapse into a singularity and bloom into a flower of complex beauty. Things have been strange, melancholic, anxious, joyous, and at times outright beautiful. A cyclothymic oscillation that has left me paralyzed and bewildered at times, but ultimately showing me the true being that resides within me. I suppose this is the journey of life and each obstacle that presents itself creates new pathways to explore, some leading to dead ends, while others lead to the infinite. I have found that it is through these varied times that the true essence of who I am shows itself, whether it is a face I find admirable, or one that rears its malformed head. It is through this that come two choices: A) Let these troubles destroy you and revel in the negative energy vacuum or B) Let these troubles make you stronger by allowing them into your life and accepting, propagating growth and spiritual renewal.

I have always been a spiritual person, but I also have been spiritually lost for some time. I do not like to compartmentalize myself by adhering to one set of spiritual beliefs or dogma, but I prefer a mongrels mix of many religions. I suppose I consider myself a born again pagan, considering that most of my views coincide with many European practices from antiquity. I also combine Asian elements as well and from these varied sources I subtract the useless drivel that seems to permeate all organized practices and refine them into something that makes sense to me. In my youth I substituted the void with psychedelic drugs, simply trying to find my way, but now I realize that it is through the things I love, the things that bring me true joy, that bring me closer to the multiverse that resides within us all.

I hope to provide my mind a positive service by posting these thoughts and hope to continue doing so in the future, tackling all the things in this amazingly beautiful and complex world we exist in.

- :K